Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Epic dream with Lance.


You were in a dream of mine the other night. There was kind of a complicated plot.

We were members of a team of eight or so aliens that were sent to Earth to help out. The longer we stay on Earth, the stronger we become and each of us slowly gain some sort of power, be it super-strength, x-ray vision, telekinesis, whatever.

However, after about a year, the word gets out to the people that we are aliens and they hunt us down. Why they are so mad I'm not sure, but someone basically started a smear campaign calling for our deaths. There is a showdown on November 1st. We don't want to hurt anyone, so we escape back to space because our leader (who I'm pretty sure was my Starbucks manager from Des Moines) is strong enough to create a wormhole that we literally climb up.

Pretty badass, right?

Except that by going though the wormhole, we not only lose what powers we gained, but can't remember the past year and the disastrous ending. So we return to Earth, again with the goal of improving what we find, fighting some crime, tweaking technology, etc. We once again gain power and strength, but each of us now has a different ability than before.

Again people track us down and there is another battle on November 1st. The cycle continues twice more and is only broken because my newly acquired gift is the ability to locate our kind anywhere on Earth and we get a new understanding of how the energy of our team can work collectively.

During this cycle, you have the power of flight.

Turns out, the original reason for coming to Earth was to hunt down a rogue member from our planet, but he had a big enough head start on us that he was able to build up his power and shield himself, all the while directing the humans to drive us away. By now he has amassed so much power that he has several abilities at his command and is ridiculously strong. However, I am able to find him because of my otherwise pretty useless power, and by harnessing the whole team's energy and abilities together we take him down.

And there was much rejoicing.

It was good to see you, if only in my dreams.



Tuesday, February 8, 2011

More Trash Talk for Lance

Also talkin' trash: Carleton Scott
Dearest of Lances, my stalwart friend,
I'm taking my chances pursuing this end:

Louisville is about to take on number seven Notre Dame
and the Cards can expect a discouraging game.
They won't get a win, just the Victory March ringing
for hours in their ears from the Irish home crowd singing.
Just look at our team – how are they gonna fight us?
We have Atkins, Nash and Tim Abromaitis. [ab-row-'Might-us]
And have you watched the sophomore Jack Cooley?
He plays like Gody [go-dee], and is just as unruly.
And don't get me started on Mr. Ben Hansbrough,
He'll outrun your team and sink every free throw.
To round out the Irish there is Carleton Scott,
Who you're sure to notice as he blocks your shot.
To top it off, no other team controls the clock
like the University of Notre Dame du lac.

Though it hurts me to see you take a beating,
It helps to know that the pain will be fleeting.
(With apologies to your family, I'm not often this brash,
It's just nice to have a reason to talk a little trash.)
Feel free to speak up, it's alright if you stumble,
but, as they say in wrestling, get ready to rumble!

If you want to watch it, it's on ESPN-U,
but as not everyone gets that, it's live online, too.
I'm really excited, we have such competitive teams;
I'm quietly entertaining Big East Champion dreams.
(Though as I say that, I'm knocking on wood,
Getting my hopes up won't do any good.)
What's that, Six-Lane? Enough of this sport?
Okay, but on Thursday expect a report.

As always, keep your chin up. You look bad with a pout.
From the chilly Bluegrass, this is Trish and I'm out.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Talkin' Trash to Lance

Another day, another rejection letter.
You'd think I'd be sad, but I've never felt better.
I'm listening to "Beautiful Day" by those Irish U2
and I can't help thinking of all we've been through.
Right here in Lexington, I'm beginning to thrive,
and you, despite the odds, are coming alive.
(I'm humming a little, it's a catchy tune.)
I think it's good that you're coming home soon.

It's hard to describe what's going on in the world,
All seemed right in Tunisia, a new flag unfurled;
In Egypt, the process isn't nearly so neat.
Some think the revolution is just an Iranian repeat.
I'm not too worried about the potential power vacuum,
Even with the Brotherhood, democracy's in the room.
Sadly the Egyptian economy will be negatively affected,
But with foreign assistance, it hopefully won't be neglected.

South Sudan successfully voted to secede!
From Omar Al-Bashir they're finally freed!
It's not everyday we get a new nation;
July will mark the official state formation.
The vote was peaceful, favored by 98%,
Even Bashir himself had to consent.
The whole ordeal is incredibly sweet.
I've attached a picture of dancing in the street.

Last night was the Super Bowl, the Packers won.
As a Lions fan, it didn't matter in the long run.
I had a beer, then spilled the second in my lap,
which I've done in five different cities (I keep a map).
Also this weekend, I threw Torri a shindig.
Her birthday is Thursday. She had fun, go fig...

Oh goodness, oh no, now I feel all abash.
This whole time I should've been talking trash.
Our basketball teams play this week
and Notre Dame is lookin' sleek.
I hope it won't be a big issue
if your first words are to ask for tissue
because after this game you'll be crying
and your Big East hopes will be dying.

Love ya.

Friday, February 4, 2011

List for Lance.

You know what I miss, Lance? 
Other than just you in general, being a friend to call on?
Other than your smile and laugh? 
Other than knowing you'd be there to fall on?
I miss the way you start conversations, 
how you'd jump straight into situations. 
I miss the way you say, "Hey, you know what's crazy?"
And get me feeling fresh as a daisy. 
It's not like we spoke on the phone everyday, 
but when we talked, we'd have so much to say. 
And when I ranted, you were content to just listen, 
or when we shared music, how your eyes would just glisten. 
What we had, what we have, it's something like love,
To call you a friend is a fact I'm proud of. 
So, I'm making a list of things that we'll do
when you get back, if you're down for them too: 

Go on walks, climb tall trees,
Finally fly my kites on a breeze.
Eat Indian, Korean and chinese,
Listen to records and mp3s.
Help the Bessins steal honey from bees,
Breathe the salt wind off the seas.
Grab a couch and watch dvds,
Roll down hills and skin our knees.
Paint a picture, tie-dye some tees,
Throw a party with wine and cheese.
Drink a slushy just for the brain freeze,
Collaborate on some mix cds.
Learn a new language (like japanese),
Perfect our international expertise. 
High fives, low fives, hugs with a squeeze,
laugh, smile, debate, frolic and tease. 
That day, Lance, will be ours to seize,
So if you would, come back to me, please.


Corn for Gas

The following comic has a point, but like most economic and energy issues squeezed into a four-panal drawing, it tends to simplify the issue:

Gas prices are a getting higher, there is turmoil in the Middle East, food prices have increased and we do use corn for biofuel. You can't argue that the father is lying, but he is leaving out several other facts that would help his child have a better grasp of the situation. It might has well have read like this:

Child: "Why are gas prices so high?"
Father: "Oil companies cashing in on turmoil in the Middle East" or "High sugar tariffs" or "Hubbert's peak fears" or "I don't know what you're talking about, compared to Europe we're getting a deal."
Child: "What started the turmoil in the Middle East?"
Father: "Global unemployment and corruption" or "Lack of reliable infrastructure" or "People with satellite phones"
Child: "Why are food prices so high?"
Father: "Because we use our corn for every kind of food imaginable" or "Transportation issues of getting food to hungry people" or, hell why not? "Global warming"

I don't know why this one bothered me so much. Maybe it's because the kid has a funny haircut.